Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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