Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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