would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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