what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
