Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
