i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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