She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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