Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Randomize
