dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
