We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
