if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
