We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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