When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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