I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
