after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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