Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
