im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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