did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
