WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize