It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I think i got beer on your cat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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