he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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