I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I cut my penus on the lid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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