I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
