This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize