im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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