it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
