My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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