But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
