We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
