Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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