HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
