He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
