I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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