So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
God, I missed his penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
