try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
please come you make the beer taste better
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
