everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
