I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
