After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
