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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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