Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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