I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
