i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Green mimosas i think yes
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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