i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
