Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
