Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
