ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize