he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
