yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
