i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize