She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm passing your future prison.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize