youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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