Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
