why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
