He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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