I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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