I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
