weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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