My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
