Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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