Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
