i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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