I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
