Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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