He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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