im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
