Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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