I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
